My Gay Man: 3 : Decision

I open my eyes. Slowly. I feel my eyes spin. My head feels so heavy. And I gasp for air. Once. Twice. I sit up and look around. This house is so lonely, so quiet. I look at the wall clock, it strikes 3.40am. Where is Mum?

I’m barely able to stand up. My knees feel weak. But I grab hold of the stool next to me. My head spins and I close my eyes. I breathe again. Inhaling as much oxygen I could. I know I must have passed out. Yeah, for being beaten by my stepfather, Pablo. The picture comes before my eyes.

Remembering why I was beaten up in the first place, I find strength to the basement. Slowly pacing down the stairs, my heart beats so fast. My bed is upside down. The mattress is torn. My pillow is on the floor. Have they found my savings yet?

I look under the bed. I once had stickered an envelope with an amount of simoleons in it. And it’s gone. They found it. They took it. No. They stole it. I cry my heart out near my bed.

“Why you do this to me, Mum? Have I been such a bad daughter that you treat me this way?” I murmur alone within my silent sobs. And I fall asleep.

I promptly wake up when it’s almost dawn. The house is still quiet. I get changed into a T-shirt and a short. I go to the toilet and look at myself in the mirror.

“He hurt me.” I gently touch my cheeks. The bruises are stinging. I wipe the dried blood slowly with the tip of my fingers and I wash my hands.

When I brush my teeth, a thought occurs to me. What if I run away from here? I’m sick of living with Pablo but I know Mum will never ever get him out of our lives. But what will happen to Mum if I leave her? Will she be hurt? But why she never seems to care of all the pains she’s going through?

“I love him, Brianna. And I will never ever leave him. Never, even with your life as the trade.” Mum once said that to me when I asked her to leave Pablo and those words keep playing in my head. I quickly finish off brushing my teeth. I have made my mind. I will leave. Period.

I enter Mum’s bedroom when suddenly I remember Mum once told me, late Grandma gave her a pair of ancient gold earrings, and Mum loved it, and that Mum would never trade it with anything. I start searching for the earrings in Mum’s dresser.

But, I have no luck. I couldn’t find the earrings anywhere. And I must hurry and leave the house. I pack a few clothes and buns for food supply.

And I’m ready to leave. I double check my two mini bags. And I believe I’m good to go. I take a deep breath and I tell myself, this is the best thing to do, and that this is the best decision I have made, and never will I ever regret this day, someday in the future. And all of a sudden, tears well up my eyes.

“I’m sorry, Mum...” I whisper softly.

I walk slowly out of the house. I don’t want to turn back but my heart keeps telling me to look behind one last time. And finally, near the mailbox, I turn to my back.

I’m looking at a small house I was raised in, and now I’m leaving it. I see Dad reading to me storybooks. I see Dad carrying me on his shoulder around the house. I see Dad catches me when I jump down the big oak tree in front of our house. And tears stream down my cheeks. I wipe them away.

“I’m leaving it all behind. I’m sorry, Dad. I’m sorry, Mum.”

And I look at the house one last time.